Five pounds of fury
Securing the perimeter is very serious business. The ears must be locked and loaded at all times. Shhh! Did you hear that?? I’m pretty sure it’s an evil kitty. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! DID YOU SEE THE SIZE...
View ArticleI threw my own “Surprise” party……
A friend and I decided to throw ourselves as “Surprise” birthday party. Ok, so maybe I Drug her kicking and screaming but I know somewhere deep inside she was thrilled. As you can tell, she just loves...
View ArticleSo, I got jiggle in my wiggle.
I was watching a video this morning when this occurred to me. Why do Caucasian gals think we’re supposed to look like toothpicks yet African American girls are perfectly fine with the junk in their...
View ArticleWorky, worky, worky….no playey…
I like to scream to relieve stress. It freaks out the callers a bit but they should know better than to call when I’m busy. I’m learning to organize better though. I have piles for everything. There’s...
View ArticleEven you can do the Hokey Pokey
Ok, so I’m only going to show you this one more time so pay attention. You put your right foot in. You put your right foot out. You put your whole self in and you shake it all about. You do the Hokey...
View ArticleThe Diet
Me: Pearl, you have to lose some weight. Pearl: What’s weight? I don’t want to lose anything. Old people lose stuff and I’m not old. Me: Pearl, I’m telling you the vet says you’re fat. You are 2 pounds...
View ArticleJust go buy one. I promise it will fit.
Things I learned today: A 9.5 foot kayak will fit in my car. Windshields’ don’t budge when shoving 9.5 foot kayaks in your car. Never listen to my husband. Me: Do you think it’s safe to drive like...
View ArticleDon’t read this!
What are you doing? You’re reading this aren’t you. Someone will know. You’re such a rebel. Rule breaker! You might as well keep going now. I feel I must tell you though, these are minutes of your...
View ArticleLet’s put dead stuff on the wall.
Meet Ted. E. Bear. He lives above my mantel with two of his friends. Do you ever wonder who the first guy was to stuff a dead animal and bring it in the house? How did that conversation even happen?...
View ArticleThe importance of pee mail
Pearl: There’s a dog across the street! GO AWAY BLACK DOG! Me: Pearl hush. Pearl: DAWG! BLACK! ACROSS THE STREET! DO SOMETHING! Me: Pearl, he’s not even in our yard. Calm down. Pearl: He’s PEEING! Oh...
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